the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
