Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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