I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
