Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize