Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
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