Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
