brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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