She's JV to your varsity
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
