You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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