That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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