STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
