She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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