I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
