Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
