Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
