I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
