I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
