garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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