dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
