Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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