get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
This is the high leading the old right now
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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