I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
