I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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