You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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