pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Sorry about my life...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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