It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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