Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
