i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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