my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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