In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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