No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
