Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
