Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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