For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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