Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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