You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
