I CAN MOONWALK!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
