I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
ok first of all what the fuck
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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