I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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