sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
