If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
