That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
