My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
