Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
