I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
