I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
