HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
