Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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