Sponge bath it is.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
