His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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