Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
