Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
