I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
