We're like a lot better than the average bears
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize