I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
