I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
