I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
