whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize