and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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