Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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