This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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