I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize