are you still at the devil's house?
Please, let me fuck your mom
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
