after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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