woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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