Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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