Is it normal to miss your booty call?
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
