she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Im part way to drunk.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
