Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
