brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
