By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
