I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I understand Curling. That high.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
